Cycle Day 9 Ultrasound

~*~*~*~*~*~* 18 Follicles!!!! ~*~*~**~*~*~~*~

Oh my gosh I can not believe that I'm even writing this.  This morning I had my ultrasound to see how I was responding to the stim drugs and there were 18 (!) follicles!  I am in complete shock.  Me, with my rotten eggs and my "poor responder" diagnosis.  Wow.  I'll back track and tell you about the appointment.

I had told D that he didn't need to come with me today.  He's missed so much work due to all of these appointments and he'll need to be off again for retrieval and transfer.  I felt good about that decision last night but as I was driving to the clinic this morning I started to get really nervous.  I reminded myself for the 1,000th time to give all of my doubts, worries, and fear to God.  So I tried that all morning and even though I was still nervous it did help.  I just prayed and tried to keep my thoughts as positive as possible.  Finally they called me back for the ultrasound.  I confessed to Jolene my nurse that I was feeling a little nervous.  She told me that with this protocol the follicles might be slightly smaller than the last cycle and that was expected and good.  The goal is to grow more and at an even rate.  So I was glad she told me that.  Then Dr. H came in and we got down to business.  I heard him say that my lining was at a 8, which is where it needs to be so that was good news.  Then he found my right ovary and started rattling off numbers.  I had a 20mm follicle and a 17mm and then he started saying 15, 15, 13, 13, 13, and he just kept going.  There were 13 follicles on the right side.  So amazing considering I had 5 on the right side and 4 on the left last cycle.  Then we moved to the left side, which is evidently my slacker ovary.  There were only 5 follicles but they were all 13mm.  So that gave us a total of 18!  Once again I'm just in shock and so thankful and filled with hope that this cycle will be better than last time.  I know we still have a ways to go.  Not all of the follicles will  have eggs and not all of the eggs will be mature.  But I'm hopeful to have more embabies than last time if we have more eggs to start with.

So I'll go back for another ultrasound tomorrow morning and they acted like we might trigger Tuesday night for a Wednesday retrieval.  I guess we'll see where we are tomorrow.

Once again it's not in my control so I will turn it all over to God and trust in his plan.  If you have any extra prayers to give this week I'd appreciate you sending them our way!

D Day

This morning I had my first ultrasound since we started the Follistim and Menopur, which was only a week ago, but seems SO much longer.  I have been so nervous about this appointment.  The unknown about all of this is the hardest part for me to deal with.  Since this is my first cycle we had no idea how my body would respond (or IF it would respond) to the meds and I've been struggling all week over anaylising every feeling in my body.  I think I had convinced myself that it wasn't working and was all in my head even though I have been feeling pretty miserable the last few days.  Well this morning we would finally find out one way or another.  The news was overall GOOD.  I had 10 follicles, which I was a little disappointed about.  I was hoping for more, but 10 is a good number considering my elevated FSH.  The GREAT news is that the follicles were a really good size!  I had a 23mm, 2 21mm, 2 18mm, 17mm, 2 15mm and 2 12mm.  I think they want them to be at least 18mm to trigger so that's great news!  My doctor is processing my lab results to check my estrogen and progestrone levels right now.  He said depending on how those come back we could either trigger tonight or do one more night of meds and have me come back for a 2nd ultrasound tomorrow with potential trigger tomorrow night.

So I'm waiting anxiously for Nurse Jenny to call with the news.  I was so scared that the ultrasound would show that the drugs weren't working and this cycle would get cancelled.  I think I had prepared myself for the worse so I'm still a little in shock that not only are we moving forward but looking to trigger much sooner than I thought.  There's still so many unknowns - how many mature eggs we will get, how will they fertilize, will we have good enough quality embryos to transfer, any to freeze?  But at least I know now that my body does respond to the fertility meds so I'll take that win for today.  Thank you all so much for the continued prayers and support.  My heart feels a little rare with all of the emotions right now.  I can't find the words to describe how badly I want this.  For myself, and for D.  And even though our journey so far as been short compared to most, I know that I will never take the gift of being a parent for granted.  I know this struggle will make me a better parent - kinder, more patient and forgiving.  I just pray that I get the chance to put these difficult lessons to use.  One more milestone down.