Worries

By now most of you have probably figured out I'm a worrier.  Even in the best situations I can/will find something to worry about.  It's funny because when it comes to friends and family I am a really positive person.  Always being optimistic and supportive, so sure things will work out just fine.  But that's not the case when it comes to my personal "stuff".  I've been wondering lately if I've always been that way or if it's just another way that infertility has changed me.  Whatever the cause, I just can't seem to find my positivity when it comes to this fight.

I stopped taking the PIO shots and the estrogen/progesterone suppositories 8 days ago.  Still no signs of starting my period.  This leads me to believe that I probably have another cyst.  I spoke to Nurse Jenny this morning and she said that if I haven't started by Wed. when we have our WTF appointment that Dr. H. will do an ultrasound during that appointment to check for cysts.  I basically need to start my period by July 18th in order to start BC pills for Aug. cycle.  Why do I feel like that's never going to happen?  Typically getting pushed one month wouldn't be such a big deal.  But our fall is crazy.  I'm in a wedding in a different state at the end of Sept. which is most likely when we would be looking at transfer for Sept. cycle.  Same deal for Oct. - my husband and I are BOTH in a wedding that falls right when we would be looking at retrieval/transfer.  If we were just attending the weddings I'd suck it up and just plan on skipping but that's not really an option when I'm a part of it.  My clinic takes every November off and does not cycle that month so then we'd be looking at Dec.  The thought of doing nothing but waiting until Dec. while my eggs only grow more rotten every day makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Then there's the fact that Dr. H could suggest some sort of surgery or procedure before we move forward.  If that's the case we would also be looking at a delay.  I mean right now I'm only guessing at what his recommended paths will be based on other conversations we've had and the results of the three cycles we've done.  I could be totally off base and he could throw something at us that I've never even thought of.  The worries are endless if I let my mind wander.

There's nothing to do but wait (and worry) until Wednesday actually gets here.