I am six weeks along today. Obviously we haven't told anyone except our immediate families and a handful of close friends who know we were in cycle. So you can imagine the challenge of meeting up with friends you haven't seen in forever. In Vegas. Where everything is on the company. In Vegas. Where I am not drinking.
Please don't think I am complaining. I love a beer or a good glass of wine as much as the next girl but I am THRILLED to not be able to drink. But it's also WAY to early for 1/2 my company to know that we are pregnant. So it's been...interesting to say the least trying to keep my secret.
I'm feeling pretty good. It's just so hard. One minute I'm positive that everything is fine and the next I'm certain something has gone wrong. I worry if I have cramps and if I don't. Some times my boobs don't hurt at all and I get panicked. Then when they do hurt bad I blame it on the progesterone. I stayed out til midnight last night and then couldn't fall asleep because I was worried I should have been more tired. I definitely feel mentally exhausted from the internal struggle.
But this week is almost over then I just have to survive next week until our first ultrasound. I'm terrified that there won be anything to see but also SO hopeful that by some miracle I am still pregnant and everything is going fine. I am praying constantly that's the case.
One more Vegas night and this girl is heading home to my hubby and puppy. I can't wait.
Ugh I know EXACTLY how you feel!! I'm a wreck who's constantly walking around feeling myself up to make sure my boobs still hurt, and then I'm sobbing when they don't! To much outside noise telling us how we should be feeling, especially stupid Dr. Google! One day at a time.
ReplyDeleteThanks Beth. It's seriously enough to drive you crazy. It's like I'm constantly taking stock of every little thing and what it *could mean. Got up 3 times to pee - yeah! Good news. Lower back pain - normal symptom good news. 8pm and not tired- complete panic. It's so irrational but I can't stop myself. I am hoping to maybe get a small piece of mind at the 7 week ultrasound IF everything is ok. But I'm sure it will be short lived even if it goes perfectly. It's nice to have people that "get it" though. Thinking of you too!!
ReplyDeletePraying for you girl! Just keep hoping and believing that everything is fabtabulous! I'm praying that your miracle has attached perfectly and is developing just as he/she is supposed to be! HUGS!!
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Thanks Elisha! Your prayers mean so much to me and lighten my heart. Hopeful!
DeleteI will continue to pray for your miracle!
ReplyDeleteThank you!! I love reading about your beautiful babies. It's giving me so much hope!
DeleteI hate those doubts! They rack my brain day and night! Praying for you :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Kasey! I'm praying for you too and so glad to hear that things are going well despite the scare! We will just keep thinking positive thoughts and have faith that our God will take care of us and the babies.
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