Counting the minutes....

Well I've almost made it through one more day. I was feeling pretty good about things all weekend but started getting really nervous again last night. I go for my third beta tomorrow morning at 8:15am so I should know something by noon tomorrow. I've just been praying so hard that my numbers continue to double.  One minute I have absolute faith that everything is going to be fine and the next I am in a complete panic. I have been trying to turn over all my fears and worries to God but it's just so hard. I just know too much. There are so many things that could go wrong. I wonder if I had strong first betas if I would worry less. I doubt I would. Right know I'm just praying that I get the chance to keep worrying and that this dream doesn't end before it really even gets started. My family and friends are comforted my the fact that the beta more than doubled after the first one. And by the fact that Dr. H said it was up to me if I wanted a third beta. But I've just read too many heartbreaking stories from other IF girls who have suffered early losses. Even though this pregnancy doesvt seem 100% real to me yet the thought of losing our little miracle seems completely unbearable. I am already stupidly so attached and so in love. This tiny little being has my whole heart and there's nothing I wouldn't do for it. I know that probably sounds over dramatic but it's how I feel. And once again here I sit with no control over what happens. All I can do is pray and hope for the best and try to stay positive. So that's what I'll do....