IVF #2 Trigger

I had my second ultrasound yesterday and the majority of my follicles were measuring 17mm so I got the all clear to trigger last night.  We did the HCG shot at 10:30pm and retrieval will be tomorrow at 9am.  I am ready to get things moving.

I wish I could put in to words how I"m feeling this time compared to last.  Some of it is much the same and some of it is completely different.  I am definitely feeling hopeful and excited but in a different way than the first time.  This time I know what we are up against and while the more aggressive protocol seems to have improved our results so far, I also know now that I won't rest easy until we get the fertilization report.  There's just so much that can go wrong happen between retrieval and transfer.  And even if by some miracle we happen to get a BFP I've had 2 blog friends just this week who's 2nd Beta came back lower and they experienced chemical pregnancies.  I know we all talk about this a lot but infertility seems to completely rob you of the joy and bliss that SHOULD come with pregnancy.  Because we know so much it seems impossible to shake the worry and fear.  So this time I am really trying to focus on taking one day at a time.

My mom recently sent me this amazing gift and I've been wearing it since starting STIM drugs.

The one thing I did learn from our first failure with IVF is that I'm stronger than I thought.  I survived the disappointment and loss and we picked ourselves up and tried again.  And I will do that again if I have to.  Not to say that I won't be devastated and heartbroken because I will.  But I also know deep in my heart that I am MEANT to be a mother.  And I'm not ready to give up yet.

So for now I'll hope and pray for a successful retrieval of LOTS of healthy mature eggs.  I will be strong for myself and for D.  I will be positive and believe that this will work for us.  And I'll look forward to our future and not behind at our loss.  And regardless of the outcome I will go on.

No shot Wednesday (kind of)

Good Morning and welcome to NO SHOT WEDNESDAY!

After 20 straight days of injections today is the first (and only) day without shots for me.  Technically we did our trigger shot today since we got up at 1:30am but I'm not counting that.  The trigger shot itself was a piece of cake.  They directed D to give it to my in my arm, which I thought was weird because everyone else seemed to do theirs in the butt.  But it worked just fine and didn't hurt at all.  I was able to fall back asleep fairly quickly and it was great not to have to wake up to an alarm for a shot this morning.  My arm is pretty sore today but I think that's a good thing meaning he got it into the muscle where it needed to go.

So today is my last day of work for the week.  I originally thought retrieval would be scheduled for Friday so I took that day off of work.  We got bumped up to Thursday and I decided just to keep my vacation day on Friday since I have the time.  So I'm wrapping things up here, having lunch with a fabulous girlfriend, and then plan on putting together a couple of dinners that we can warm up easily the next couple of days.  Retrieval is scheduled for Noon tomorrow and they want us at the clinic 45 min. ahead of time. No food or drink after midnight so that will be rough for this girl who loves to eat :)

Please say some prayers for good quality eggs and strong fertilization!  It's so hard to believe that (if all goes well) as of tomorrow afternoon we will officially have babies, made from me and D, growing!

It's GO Time

This morning started off with another trip to the clinic.  Have I mentioned how much I LOVE my fertility clinic?  Everyone there is so nice and supportive.  From the tech who draws my blood, to our sweet nurse, my patient coordinator, our insurance coordinator, and even the doctor.  I instantly feel at ease when I walk in there.  Truly like these people are the ones who can "fix" me.  Anyway my labs from yesterday came back good and my estrogen and progesterone levels were right in the middle.  This led to the decision for us to stim for one more night.  So we did the Follistim and Menopur again last night and then had a 8am ultrasound this morning  My doctor does the ultrasounds himself, not a tech, which I really like.  He informed me that we had several 20+ size follicles on each side and I was ready to go. My lining is at 11mm (they want to see it over 8) so that's looking good as well.  We met with Nurse Jenny and she reviewed the process for the trigger shot which we will do tonight (actually tomorrow morning) at 1:30am.  My retrieval is scheduled for noon tomorrow.  Honestly I can't believe those words are coming out of my mouth (or out of the keyboard).  There's such a big part of me that didn't think we'd get this far.  I can feel myself getting more and more excited and the hope building!

So now we wait (again) for Thursday.  I am so anxious to hear how many eggs they are able to retrieve and am hoping for good numbers.  I know it only takes one but it would ease so much anxiety if we had some good quality embryos to freeze.  But for right now I'm going to try and stay focused on this fresh cycle and success.