All Aboard!

Well we are 8dp3dt.  So I made it a couple days longer than last cycle before I chased down the Crazy Train and jumped on.  Yesterday I woke up and my OHSS was significantly better.  This morning I'm down 4 of the almost 7 lbs I gained.  So great news right?  WRONG.  I'm now convinced that since my symptoms have improved none of the embryos implanted and this cycle is another failure.  Technically I think I could start testing from home today and get a postivie result (if there was one to see).  So of course I'm fighting that battle as well.  I really want to wait for my Beta but then on the other hand I know I'll be getting the call at work and it's not like I really need to have another emotional breakdown in the office.  I've done such a good job of staying postive this cycle and I really was convinced it worked.  Now my feelings have completey flip flopped.  The 2ww is seriously one of the most awful forms of torture a woman can go through.

I really don't have any symptoms.  My boobs are a little sore but nothing major.  I'm still have some very mild cramping or "pulling" sensensation.  Sometimes I think I am feeling like I'm going to start my period.  Oh I did notice a teeny tiny amount of spotting on Day 5 after 3 day transfer which *should* have been when the embryos were implanting.  However if I wasn't a crazy toliet paper nazi I wouldn't have even noticed since it was so barely visable.

Really that is about all.  I have been super tired lately because I've been battling a cold but last night I stayed up until almost 10pm so I can't even say that might be a symptom.  So I guess I'll just be riding around in circles on this train until I get my beta results.  I'm still not letting myself think ahead to what happens if this cycle fails.  I'm trying desperately to hold on to some of the positivity I've been feeling up until now which is difficlut when the train is speeding down the tracks out of control.