We got the results from the Repeated Pregnancy Loss panel back and everything was normal. On Wednesday we will see where my HCG level is at now. Once it returns to below 5 and I get a period we can start our cycle at CCRM. My protocol there is an estrogen priming one. So after my period starts I'll test for ovulation and once I get a positive ovulation test I'll start my estrogen patches. Then we add in three days of Ganerleix injections and then I should get another period and we start stims right away. It will go fast once I get that initial period - I just have no idea how long that will take.
Emotionally I'm doing okay and I feel ready to move forward. While the pain and grief are still there I don't feel like it's consuming me anymore. This morning I woke up feeling.....determined might be a good word. This has been a hard road for us with a lot of unanswered questions. But we both agree there's nothing more important to us than building a family. And until we cycle at CCRM I don't think we can truly know what our best option is. There's a lot of ways our cycle(s) with them can go. Obviously my hope is their world class lab can help us get some high quality normal blasts to transfer. If my gut is right and the root of our struggles is my shitty egg quality then that should be our solution. However I know just because an embryo has tested normal does not guarantee success. We may transfer a normal embryo and still not find success. I could miscarry again. Or it could just be a BFN. At that point I think we start to think seriously about a Gestational Carrier. We might not even get any normal blasts. Which at that point we will start to look into donor eggs. In some ways though we've been through three fresh cycles, and a total of five transfers (plus our naturally pregnancy) it feels like we are starting from scratch. Which I guess in a way we are with CCRM. And even though we've suffered nothing but disappointment after disappointment I am hopeful. I'm hopeful that their protocol which does not include suppression will be helpful for a "poor responder" like me. I'm hopeful that their amazing lab will yield better quality embryos from my crappy eggs. And as I mentioned before I'm no longer naive enough to think that a year from now this nightmare will be over, I am confident that we will know more than we do now. That our path to our family will be more defined and within our reach. That there will be light at the end of this dark, long tunnel.
I'm glad you're clear on the next steps and that you are going forward.
ReplyDeleteBack to back retrievals sounds like a nightmare to me, but you do what you have to do. I agree with you that you have to try everything, and I would do the same, including going to CCRM.
I am also very interested in this 3d freeze instead of the 5d biopsy. I wonder if you got a ton of eggs if they would switch to the standard 5d?
I'm waiting on a CCRM CCS, any day now, so maybe our babies' biopsies will have been in the same place LOL.