One of those days....

It's not often I go a full day without thinking of our infertility struggle. However the last week of work has been so busy and stressful it hasn't been on the top of my mind. However today was one of those days that there was no avoiding it. This morning a colleague came over and was asking my cubemate about her little boy. He then turned towards me and asked her when she was going to talk me into "giving kids a try". After a fake laugh and a "We'll see!" from me he continued to ask me (jokingly) if I was scared. Sigh. 

Two hours later in the bathroom a girl that works with me and goes to my gym asked if I'd been to the gym lately. I told her yes I had been going a lot. She then started complaining about how she can't make it because of her son's schedule and how I'm so lucky I don't have kids to mess up my gym time. Oh yes. So lucky. 

Finally tonight when picking our dog up from daycare (cuz she goes to daycare twice a week :) the owner commented on how she seemed kind of pouty today. I laughed and said she's got an attitude and the owner replied "That's what you can look forward to when you two finally have kids". 

As I'm sure a lot of you know easy, passing comments like this are something to endure everyday.  Today was just one of those days where I felt like every place I turned someone was reminding me of our struggle. Of course these people have no idea the pain associated with these comments which are meant to be funny. I'm not angry at them as obviously they know nothing about our situation.  But I feel like I've built a wall around my heart to protect myself and every innocent comment breaks it down a little more  

So, I'll spend tonight taking care of myself. I'll go for a long run, cook a healthy dinner, snuggle on the couch to relax with D and rebuild my wall to face what tomorrow brings. One day at a time.